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Hats

Pride - Lightning Bolt Hat

Description: It's a little pride, it's a little Ziggy Stardust, and it's a lot awesome!

Tags: lightning bolt, pride march, pride month, progress flag, rainbow
Pride - You'll Have to Go Through Me Hat

Description: Are you an ally to the LGBTQIA community? Don't just wave a flag. Show the world you are a safe space and the bigots that they'll be dealing with you first!

Tags: ally pride, allyship, equal rights, equality, gay
Pride - Rooster Goblin Hat

Description: Who doesn't love poultry, especially during Pride? Let everyone know!

Tags: bisexual, cock, gay, gay pride, lgbtq
Pride - Funky 2026 Hat

Description: Won't you take me to funky pride? This bold, bright design in a retro font practically screams "queer!"

Tags: bisexual, gay, gay pride, lesbian, lgbtq pride
Pride - Grab a Brick Hat

Description: Pride was and is a riot. Grab a brick!

Tags: bisexual, brick, gay, justice, lesbian
Pride - We're going Protesting! Hat

Description: Regina George is picking you up and we're all going to the protest!

Tags: anti fascist, anti trump, antifa, bisexual, gay
Pride - Revolution 2026 Hat

Description: It's not just a parade, it's a revolution. Now more than ever.

Tags: bisexual, gay, gay pride, lesbian, lgbtq
Pope Leo: Hey Trump! Hat

Description: Republicans get so upset whenever Pope Leo talks about peace and love and compassion, as if he's personally calling out Trump. Well, maybe he should! This double-barreled message is loud and clear.

Tags: anti fascist, anti maga, anti republican, anti trump, antifa
1776-2026 Hat

Description: Looking for a way to acknowledge this momentous semiquincentennial but don't really feel like acting like everything is great? Well, do we have the message for you!

Tags: 1776 2026, 250 years america, 250th anniversary, 250th anniversary usa, anti fascist
fdt brat style Hat

Description: If you know, you know... right? It's simple, it's cool, and it gets the message across!

Tags: anti maga, anti trump, antifa, brat, charli xcx
Kanji Bitchen Boutique Hat

Description: Our name in Japanese kanji! (For real, we verified it with a friend who's fluent.)

Tags: anime, bitchen boutique, japanese, japanese kanji, japanese writing
Keep Podcasts Weird! Hat

Description: Support independent podcasts and the people who work so hard to bring them to you! You can share their episodes with your friends, repost them on social media, and buy some of their merch! Remind folks that most podcasts aren't supported by big networks that provide studio space, editors, graphic artists, etc... for most shows that's all one person doing it for free!

Tags: audio drama, comedy, commentary, entertainment, history
Fck ICE! Hat

Description: Express your disdain for the frozen water and pull no punches!

Tags: abolish ice, anti ice, anti trump, antifa, chinga la migra
Culturally Abnormal Hat

Description: "Culturally normal?" Not us! Normal is a boring and stupid and Republican concept. The best people are weirdos!

Tags: culturally abnormal, culturally normal, democrat, gavin newsom, leftist
Radical Left Lunatic Hat

Description: Radical Left Lunatics unite! Show the world who you are and piss off all the right people!

Tags: 1980s, 1980s retro, anti maga, anti trump, antifa
Rebel Scum Hat

Description: Looking for a nerdy way to tell the world you're mad as hell and you're not gonna take it any more? That you value justice, diversity, inclusion, and the real freedom that comes from equality for everyone? Then let 'em know you're part of the Rebel Alliance IRL!

Tags: anti capitalism, anti maga, anti trump, diversity, equality
Lindberg - Lindy Wingding Hat

Description: One of Pitney's all-time favorite bands is Lindberg, a J-pop / rock band that kicked ass all through the '90s! This design celebrates their 1994 album, Lindy Wingding and has a well-loved finish.

Tags: 1990s music, j pop, japan, japanese, japanese pop
Manger Things Hat

Description: What could say "Christmas" more than celebrating our friends in Hawkins? Commemorate the final season of Stranger Things (Volume 2 on Christmas Day 2025!) with a clever shirt!

Tags: christmas, christmas humor, demogorgon, hawkins lab, stranger things 5
Bitchen Things Hat

Description: The two things that celebrate Generation X... Stranger Things and Bitchen Boutique... together at last!

Tags: 80s, demogorgon, gen xers, generation x, hawkins
Manicure Club Hat

Description: Are you a nail tech who loves Stranger Things? Do you know a fan of Palmolive or Madge the Manicurist? This incredibly silly design will bring happiness wherever it goes!

Tags: madge the manicurist, manicure, manicure club, nail salon, palmolive
Fuck Cancer Hat

Description: Amelia needed just the right shirt to tell the world she's gonna beat breast cancer!

Tags: breast cancer fighter, breast cancer support, cancer, cancer fighter, cancer survivor
Bitchen Boutique Logo Hat

Description: Show your love for the world's best podcast no one's ever heard of! Or maybe you've never heard of it but you just dig the logo! I mean, it's cute, right?

Tags: bitchen, comedy podcast, gay, gen x podcast, lgbt
Team Bitchen Hat

Description: When you're on Team Bitchen, you can sit with us! It's sort of like our logo, but Barbie pink, for that extra bit of flair!

Tags: barbie, bitchen boutique, lgbtqia, pink, team bitchen
Sage Against the Machine Hat

Description: If you're using witchcraft to fight the system, come sit with us!

Tags: activism, coven, magic, pagan, political
Subversive Freak Hat

Description: Some people need to hide their light under a bushel for safety reasons, but we can't hide our freakiness no matter how hard we try!

Tags: anti trump, equality, feminism, feminist, freak
Woke Marxist Hat

Description: If Pope Leo XIV is a "woke Marxist," maybe we all are! Either way, it pisses off the right people!

Tags: anti trump, antifa, antifascist, democrat, leftist
AOC Will Not Yield Hat

Description: AOC won't yield to disrespectful men, and neither will you!

Tags: alexandria ocasio cortez, anti fascist, antifa, democrat, equality
PPL Pride! Hat

Description: Welcome to the Line of Lasciviousness! That monster Pat Robertson once said that what was bringing America down was pornography, promiscuity, and lasciviousness. It's made Pitney laugh since he was a kid and we just LOVE ALL THREE! Celebrate a world without Pat Robertson but with plenty of PPL with some stylish merchandise!

Tags: gay, gay pride, gen x, gen xers, generation x
Bitchen Boutique - We May Be Awful Hat

Description: Show your love for the world's best podcast no one's ever heard of! Or maybe you've never heard of it but you just dig the logo! I mean, it's cute, right? And then you turn around and our adorable faces and snark are on the back... what could be better?

Tags: bitchen, funny podcast, gay podcast, gen x, gen x podcast

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