Hats

Description: Who doesn't love poultry, especially during Pride? Let everyone know!

Description: Won't you take me to funky pride? This bold, bright design in a retro font practically screams "queer!"

Description: Pride was and is a riot. Grab a brick!

Description: Regina George is picking you up and we're all going to the protest!

Description: It's not just a parade, it's a revolution. Now more than ever.

Description: Republicans get so upset whenever Pope Leo talks about peace and love and compassion, as if he's personally calling out Trump. Well, maybe he should! This double-barreled message is loud and clear.

Description: Looking for a way to acknowledge this momentous semiquincentennial but don't really feel like acting like everything is great? Well, do we have the message for you!

Description: If you know, you know... right? It's simple, it's cool, and it gets the message across!

Description: Our name in Japanese kanji! (For real, we verified it with a friend who's fluent.)

Description: Support independent podcasts and the people who work so hard to bring them to you! You can share their episodes with your friends, repost them on social media, and buy some of their merch! Remind folks that most podcasts aren't supported by big networks that provide studio space, editors, graphic artists, etc... for most shows that's all one person doing it for free!

Description: Express your disdain for the frozen water and pull no punches!

Description: "Culturally normal?" Not us! Normal is a boring and stupid and Republican concept. The best people are weirdos!

Description: Radical Left Lunatics unite! Show the world who you are and piss off all the right people!

Description: Looking for a nerdy way to tell the world you're mad as hell and you're not gonna take it any more? That you value justice, diversity, inclusion, and the real freedom that comes from equality for everyone? Then let 'em know you're part of the Rebel Alliance IRL!

Description: One of Pitney's all-time favorite bands is Lindberg, a J-pop / rock band that kicked ass all through the '90s! This design celebrates their 1994 album, Lindy Wingding and has a well-loved finish.

Description: What could say "Christmas" more than celebrating our friends in Hawkins? Commemorate the final season of Stranger Things (Volume 2 on Christmas Day 2025!) with a clever shirt!

Description: The two things that celebrate Generation X... Stranger Things and Bitchen Boutique... together at last!

Description: Are you a nail tech who loves Stranger Things? Do you know a fan of Palmolive or Madge the Manicurist? This incredibly silly design will bring happiness wherever it goes!

Description: Amelia needed just the right shirt to tell the world she's gonna beat breast cancer!

Description: Show your love for the world's best podcast no one's ever heard of! Or maybe you've never heard of it but you just dig the logo! I mean, it's cute, right?

Description: When you're on Team Bitchen, you can sit with us! It's sort of like our logo, but Barbie pink, for that extra bit of flair!

Description: If you're using witchcraft to fight the system, come sit with us!

Description: Some people need to hide their light under a bushel for safety reasons, but we can't hide our freakiness no matter how hard we try!

Description: If Pope Leo XIV is a "woke Marxist," maybe we all are! Either way, it pisses off the right people!

Description: AOC won't yield to disrespectful men, and neither will you!

Description: Welcome to the Line of Lasciviousness! That monster Pat Robertson once said that what was bringing America down was pornography, promiscuity, and lasciviousness. It's made Pitney laugh since he was a kid and we just LOVE ALL THREE! Celebrate a world without Pat Robertson but with plenty of PPL with some stylish merchandise!

Description: Show your love for the world's best podcast no one's ever heard of! Or maybe you've never heard of it but you just dig the logo! I mean, it's cute, right? And then you turn around and our adorable faces and snark are on the back... what could be better?